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Sony, Nintendo, Xbox, Other

VGC Top Ten: Professions on Mario's Resume

RSS by on 21 February 2010, 30596 views
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If there ever was a blue collar “everyman” hero in gaming, that crown would have to sit firmly on one man’s head – Mario.  The man has had more jobs than pretty much anyone in all of gaming.  Here is a look at his top ten professions that adorn his resume, in no particular order.

 

 

 

carpenter.jpg picture by spdk1

Carpenter


The job that started it all, who can forget Mario’s first foray into the working world.  Problem was, whenever he would scale up the big red construction site, a crazy ape always seemed to ruin his day.  It was even in this job we saw Mario’s only outing as a game villain in Donkey Kong Jr.  Looks like the pressure got to him.

 

As seen in: Donkey Kong, Donkey Kong Jr.

 

 

plumber.jpg picture by spdk1

Plumber


Ah yes, the classic.  This is the one job that our rotund old friend is known for, but was he all that good?  As Jesus of Nazareth is not really known as a carpenter, Mario must have been a lackluster plumber.  There is some evidence of this theory if you take the cartoon the Super Mario Bros. Super Show as canon, in that Mario’s ineptitude in pipe fixing transported him to a magical land.  While a nice little diversion, I doubt too many Brooklynites would really care to have that happen whilst sitting on the toilet reading the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue.

 

As seen in: Mario Bros., Super Mario Bros.

 

 

astronaut.jpg picture by spdk1

 

Space Explorer


One of Mario’s newest job opportunities has got to be one of his most exciting.  Not only do we see him discovering all sorts of small planetoids and meteors, but helping a space princess has got to be a good thing for a resume.  It must pay well too, as it seems like just about everyone from the Mushroom Kingdom, including side-kick dinosaurs seem to want to be in on the action.  

 

As seen in: Super Mario Galaxy

 

 

dinos.jpg picture by spdk1

Dinosaur herder


They say that nothing beats the life of a cowboy.  Awake at sunup and moving cattle around the plains before most people even get up in the morning.  Imagine how hard Mario had it when he found out that he was tending to a flock of Yoshi!  These little dinos seem to be a handful in most games, but Mario always seems up to the task.

 

As seen in: Super Mario World

 

 

trashman.jpg picture by spdk1

Trash Man


Despite initially being forced to clean up toxic waste due to an imposter besmirching his name, Mario did the job well and even carried on long after he was proven innocent.  While the water pack may look a bit Ghostbusters, it suited the pudgy New Yoker well.

 

As seen in: Super Mario Sunshine

 

 

ref.jpg picture by spdk1

Referee


When many think of a famous Italian man in the ring, most will think of the “Italian Stallion” Rocky balboa, but those of us that are gamers may think of our good old buddy Mario.  While he never laced up any boots, Mario did a great job keeping order for the biggest ticking time bomb ever in Mike Tyson.  Note, no ears were bitten off during his watch.

 

As seen in: Mike Tyson's Punch Out!

 

 

damsel.jpg picture by spdk1

Damsel in distress


For one night only Mario found himself in the very situation that the lovely Princess Peach historically finds herself in.  While locked up, I wonder if Mario dreamed of a much bigger, beefier plumber to rescue him?  Probably not.

 

As seen in: Super Princess Peach

 

 

demos.jpg picture by spdk1

Demolitions expert


With Mario’s expert use of bombs and other explosives in many of his games, one would wonder why he only did it professionally a small handful of times.  

 

As seen in: Wrecking Crew

 

 

stig.jpg picture by spdk1

 

Racecar driver


Move over Michael Schumacher, there is another racing veteran wanting some recognition for his illustrious career.  While not the fated man on four (or even two!) wheels, he is a master of driving whilst juggling all manner of dangerous weapons.   

 

As seen in: Mario Kart Series

 

 

timetraveler.jpg picture by spdk1

Time Traveler


Being a big fan of time traveling myself, It’s good to see that Mario gave it a shot at one point, shame the game was utter garbage!

 

As seen in: Mario's Time Machine

 

 

 

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34 Comments

cromeros (on 23 February 2010)

jajaja!!!


Attoyou (on 23 February 2010)

wheres Doc mario!? oh and for Demolitions expert He did A lot of that in Super mario world :-)


josewiisantos (on 23 February 2010)

he's also a doctor, a soccer player, an olympic athlete, a fighter, golfer and a painter!


kazenolalala (on 22 February 2010)

what a sportsman!


thetonestarr (on 22 February 2010)

+1 for Doctor freaking Who.


Kenoid (on 22 February 2010)

Wow, nice read.
You forgot high jumper =)


ljpsu176 (on 21 February 2010)

Professional athlete...Mario Sluggers...Super Strikers...etc


MasterZack (on 21 February 2010)

Demolitions expert also in the castles in SMW


thismeintiel (on 21 February 2010)

+1 for the Dino-Riders pic. Loved that show. BTW Mario was also a damsel in distress in Mario Is Missing! Luigi had to save him that time.


Pharaoh (on 21 February 2010)

@kungkras

Its from a tv show called dino-riders. It was actually a very good show, and had some awesome action figures. Most people haven't actually seen the tv series only the picture


tarheel91 (on 21 February 2010)

I always knew the Stig was Mario. It was obvious Schumacher was just a cover up. This explains the Stig's love for power slides.


KungKras (on 21 February 2010)

Where is that dinosaur picture from? I think I recognise a similar TV series, but I can't remember it's name.


richardhutnik (on 21 February 2010)

Dr. Who? Its a me! Mario!


woopah (on 21 February 2010)

why replace time traveller with doctor? that pic shows both


wiisley64 (on 21 February 2010)

Was he damsel in distress in Luigi's Mansion too


cliffhanger (on 21 February 2010)

I agree, where's the doctor! That's a big omission. Replace the time traveler with the doctor. That games sucked anyway.
Trash man can also be from SMG. There were a couple levels that you had to bomb away the trash bags.
Fun read though!


deus837 (on 21 February 2010)

Where's doctor!?


Signalstar (on 21 February 2010)

Mario is the male Barbie confirmed.


illuvatar (on 21 February 2010)

loving the dinoriders picture, man those were some good cartoons and the toys just rocked!!!


Soriku (on 21 February 2010)

lol, this is awesome.


Xen (on 21 February 2010)

This is hilarious. Your best top 10 yet, dood.


sauss (on 21 February 2010)

Agree with Sri Lumpa. Please change Mario´s Time Machine for Partners in time


NiKKoM (on 21 February 2010)

DinoRiders!!!! damn that was an awesome cartoon...


Cheebee (on 21 February 2010)

What is that pic with the dinosaurs of?!
Armoured dinosaurs firing laser beams? OMG! :-D


kopstudent89 (on 21 February 2010)

Hahahaha... mario the stig!!!


Sri Lumpa (on 21 February 2010)

Mario & Luigi: Partners in time is a much better game displaying his time travelling chops.


haxxiy (on 21 February 2010)

Yeah, demolition should be also for SMW.


TWRoO (on 21 February 2010)

Haha. Mario is the Stig! And the new Doctor Who!


famousringo (on 21 February 2010)

LOL, Mario's professions can't even fit in a top ten.

Love the Dino-riders, BTW.


hunter_alien (on 21 February 2010)

Yeah... where is his Doctor diploma? :|


The Ghost of RubangB (on 21 February 2010)

I would've exchanged Trash Man for Doctor, but I agree with the other 9!


hallowedbeeddie (on 21 February 2010)

I thought demolitions expert was because of taking down castles in mario world


hallowedbeeddie (on 21 February 2010)

first!!! anyways very fun